On the Nobility of Ourselves by Jerome K. Jerome. Short summary

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An English writer tells of how, as a child, he was frightened by the way people described souls being in paradise. He was told that he would be there singing hymns all the time.

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The author describes how, as a child, he was very upset when he heard certain people’s ideas about life after death. Little Jerome was led to believe that if the child behaved well, took care of his own appearance, and did not inconvenience the house cat, then after his inevitable death he would inevitably go to a place where he could permanently practice hymns. Such speeches were perceived by the child’s psyche with some shudder.

It was also explained to the boy that in heaven there would be no breakfasts, lunches, or dinners that he was accustomed to. One aunt reassured him that he would sometimes be given semolina. When the future English writer was asked if he would occasionally be treated to gingerbread, apples, or nuts, the woman answered in the negative. She added that there were no schools and therefore no lessons in paradise. The lady also said that in that place Jerome would not be able to participate in any games and amusements.