A Humane Word from Satan by Mark Twain. Short summary

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In response to criticism of Rockefeller for allowing charity, Satan said that many officials donate «conscientious» money, that is, money stolen from the state, to the church.

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The pamphlet is written in spite of the sweeping blasphemy against Rockefeller, who has donated a lot of money to American Christian missions. Critics think that Rockefeller’s money is «dirty»? But in all ages the vast majority of donations to the church have been so.

A term has already been coined, «conscience money.» This is the money that a thief, an official who has stolen from the treasury or who has evaded taxes gives to charity — most often on his deathbed. And if American Christian missions accept such donations, what’s worse than Rockefeller?

Satan might argue that tax evaders are not thieves. They are not breaking the law, just circumventing it. Satan says that a thief can slip into heaven, while «lawbreakers» are cooked in hell.